b Riding East

Sunday, January 07, 2018

Chorale No. 5

Remembering my father, again, I was reflecting with a close friend today on music I wrote years ago, including this piece, set to Psalm No. 6.  The piece was both dedicated and directed to my mother.  I'm not certain she cares for the piece as much as I do.

Here are the score and a piano recording of the chorale, which I just recorded tonight.

Chorale No. 5 (score)
Chorale No. 5 (piano)

I also include the text to Psalm No. 6.  The music is set to only the first six lines of the Psalm, which possibly makes some sense (or not) when you consider the change in tone and perspective of the Psalm after the sixth line.

Lord, rebuke me not in thine anger, neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure.
Have mercy upon me, O Lord; for I am weak: O Lord, heal me; for my bones are vexed.
My soul is also sore vexed: but thou, O Lord, how long?
Return, O Lord, deliver my soul: oh save me for thy mercies' sake.
For in death there is no remembrance of thee: in the grave who shall give thee thanks?
I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears.
Mine eye is consumed because of grief; it waxeth old because of all mine enemies.
Depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity; for the Lord hath heard the voice of my weeping.
The Lord hath heard my supplication; the Lord will receive my prayer.
10 Let all mine enemies be ashamed and sore vexed: let them return and be ashamed suddenly.

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Adagio Cantabile from Beethoven Sonata Op. 13 in C minor, “Pathetique”

After spending more time with Brahms and Bach this past year, I'm coming back to the early Beethoven sonatas, including Op. 7, Op. 10 No. 2, Op. 14 No. 2, as well as this treasure. I was probably inspired by my friend Andrew Rangell's new CD, a Bouquet of Beethoven.  BTW, do we still call them CDs?

I spent some time on this piece this week.  I didn't realize how fast I was playing until I listened to the recording.  Hardly an Adagio, it's difficult to "sing" at this tempo, but unfortunately, so is life for me.  I've been trying to slow down for the past few decades and haven't yet succeeded.  I dream of not rushing one day-- while playing Beethoven, while walking to Caltrain, while spending time with my children...

When I think about the frenetic pace of my life, I'm reminded of the time in 2005 when I stepped down from job/career and focused on composing full time.  One of the first pieces I wrote, before formally beginning my graduate studies at Stanford, was an orchestral set based on Dante's Purgatorio, which allowed me to explore this theme of life and time.  Lacking an orchestra, I used Cubase and "virtual instruments" to create recordings, which didn't seem so awful back then (oh might was I wrong).  Here are a couple pieces from that set, including "Calliope Arise" and "Femmina Balba II", which I more or less improvised on a keyboard that was plugged into Cubase to synthesize the cellos.

The Divine Comedy, Purgatorio, I, 1:12

    Per correr miglior acque alza le vele
To run its course through smoother water
omai la navicella del mio ingegno,
the small bark of my wit now hoists its sail,
che lascia dietro a sé mar sì crudele;
leaving that cruel sea behind.
    e canterò di quel secondo regno
Now I shall sing the second kingdom,
dove l'umano spirito si purga
there where the soul of man is cleansed,
e di salire al ciel diventa degno.
made worthy to ascend to heaven.
    Ma qui la morta poesì resurga,
Here from the dead let poetry rise up,
o sante Muse, poi che vostro sono;
O sacred Muses, since I am yours.
e qui Calïopè alquanto surga,
Here let Calliope arise
    seguitando il mio canto con quel suono
to accompany my song with those same chords
di cui le Piche misere sentiro
Whose force so struck the miserable magpies
lo colpo tal, che disperar perdono.
that, hearing it, they lost all hope of pardon.
PurgatorioXIX, 10:14

    Io la mirava; e come 'l sol conforta
I looked at her, and as the sun revives
le fredde membra che la notte aggrava,
Cold limbs benumbed by night,
così lo sguardo mio le facea scrota
so my gaze gave her a ready tongue
    la lingua, e poscia tutta la drizzava
And then in very little time
in poco d'ora, e lo smarrito volto,
straightened her crooked limbs

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Bach Goldberg Variation No. 13

The first thing I did when I arrived in Fairview, Wyoming today was to open the gate to the outer pasture, hopefully persuading the horses to come and visit so it will be easier to catch them tomorrow.

The second thing I did, after arriving, was play the piano. It's such a treat to be able to play while watching the wind blow through the quaking aspens as the sun is setting on "Big Ridge" to the west.

I think a lot about the sacrifices my ancestors made for me.  This land was my great-grandfather's, Robert Hillstead, an immigrant from England.  On the ridge of the mountain, nestled near the Bridger Nat'l forest, this "dry farm" (not irrigated) would support grazing the dairy cattle during the summer months.  My grandfather and his brothers would take turns making the trip to the ridge from the valley each evening.  They would round up the cows, milk them, spend a night in a little shack (quite near the corral in the photo), and then repeat the exercise for the morning milking the next day.  After, they would take the milk down to the valley and sell it.

I remember many summers here in Star Valley with my Grandpa Joe.  His heart never left this valley.  I think my heart will never leave Star Valley either.

Wednesday, June 07, 2017

Preludes No. 8 and No. 11

Today was a day of reflection. Seventeen years ago, or June 6th, 2000, my father passed away. One year prior, on the same day, my Grandma Smith, his mother, had passed away. They are buried next to each other, alongside his father and sister, in Holladay, Utah. From his grave, you have a perfect view of Mount Olympus in the Wasatch mountains, his favorite mountain peak.

I experienced every emotion that summer. At work, we were busy closing our quarter, our fourth as a public company. I was a week away from starting the road show for our secondary offering. In parallel with the secondary, we'd signed a term sheet to purchase another company and were commencing diligence. At home, my wife Tina and I had just purchased our second piano, a beautiful Bösendorfer from Austria (which I used for the recordings below). She was seven months pregnant with our first child, my son Noah. And then my father died.

I think of this summer often. When I see Mount Olympus, when I play some of my own pieces from that era, when I hold my son, when I hear and sing the hymns my father and I sang in church together. I wrote these pieces, Preludes no. 8 and no. 11, six years later, still reflecting. No. 11 is a variation of the hymn, Be Still my Soul, taken from Sibelius's Finlandia.

Prelude No. 8
Prelude No. 8 score

Prelude No. 11
Prelude No. 11 score

Monday, May 15, 2017

Brahms Ballade Op 10 No. 1 in D Minor

I turned 50 on March 11 and hosted a piano recital for my birthday.  My program included Brahms Op. 9, the Schumann Variations, as well as Ballade Op. 10 no. 4.  Family and friends attended, who were quite gracious and forgiving of my lack of practice time.  

Since the recital, I've been working on the rest of Brahms Op. 10.  When I was younger, I couldn't get enough of late Brahms.  Now that I'm getting older, I'm drawn to his earlier works.  I sat down tonight and briefly recorded Op 10 no 1.  I need to memorize it and work on the sound (too harsh), but I find this piece enchanting -- from another world, another time.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Chopin Prelude in F# Major Op 28 no 13

My cute eight-year-old daughter Sabine recorded me playing Chopin today.  Sabine was a flower in the Hillview Middle School production of Jungle Book this past Saturday.  I've included a shot from her show.  As you can see, the tiger was really good.  I also loved the palm tree.  Nice touch.  You can see Sabine as the flower next to the plant on the left.  The plant had a lot of energy throughout the show.

I learned most of the Chopin preludes a year ago and decided to come back to some of them the past couple days.  The F# Major op 28 no 13 is such a gem.  The lines of this piece are amazing, especially the embedded/implied inner lines.  I love, for example, how he starts on the octave (A#) in both hands. The piu lento sostenuto in the middle of the piece is another great example of the wonderful lines and inner melodies Chopin develops.  So precious. 

It seems all young pianists love Chopin, and understandably so.  I felt there was almost too much bias towards Chopin when I played more in college, and was determined to venture out.  I'm older now and find myself coming back to Chopin.  

Sunday, July 03, 2016

Sunday morning playing Brahms in pajamas

A typical Sunday morning playing the piano in my PJs. My daughter Charlie filmed this on my iPhone 6. Sound quality is ok, not great.  When I take the time to bring in my high end microphones, it becomes a whole day affair of recording, and I didn't have the courage today. So this iPhone captured spontaneous and scraggly recording will have to do.

I've learned this entire set of the Variations on a Theme by Robert Schumann, Op 9, by Johannes Brahms.  I love this piece.  My goodness.  I've never found a more intimate character piece in all of art.  The story of Robert's life with Clara, from marriage through his death.

I play three variations from the set in this performance (in my pajamas), namely 7, 8, and 9.  The meter in Variation 7 moves from 4 to 3, almost representative of a life cut short.  Variation 8 is one of the most amazing canons ever written.  Truly inspired.  Variation 9 seems to suggest the storm that is coming in all of its despair, the beginning of the end perhaps.

Yes, I know, I need to learn how to play the piano in piano.  Working on it.  Also, I really haven't perfected this set yet.  This was more of a morning romp.  I'm hoping for a recital that would include this set, the first French Suite from Bach in D minor, Janáček's X. 1905, maybe some Ravel, and then a few of my own pieces along side Rachmaninoff.